Mid OCTOBER I was able to secure a PLACE in East Village for a WHOOPING $975 a MONTH, typically a ROOM in EV runs $1600+.
AFTER my divorce I was in a STICKY situation and the OPPORTUNITY couldn’t have BEEN timed BETTER.
“YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR.”
I found my new ROOMMATE on Craigslist, CALLED him immediately and WALKED over to MEET.
Let’s say his name is “Bill” for the time BEING.
The PLACE was a SHIT show, BOXES stacked everywhere, RECORDS as far as the EYE could see, SMELLY, dingy/tiny BATHROOM, and one DECENTLY cleaned BEDROOM that would SOON be my OWN.
for SOME reason the BEDROOM is PAINTED purple, but it was fully furnished and EQUIPPED with a usable fire escape. now MY cat could GO out and get FRESH air, he LOVES NYC Fire Escapes.
REDFLAG #1 — I sit on Bill’s couch EXPECTING the TYPICAL roommate interview. “Do you actually work, can you pay rent, what do you do, etc.”
INSTEAD Bill explained to me THAT he was actually 3 MONTHS behind on his RENT and THAT if I was WILLING to pay 3 MONTHS up FRONT he would WAIVE the normal 1st and last months rent, plus SECURITY. “If you PAY me 3 months RENT, you can stay here UNTIL February.” I made him SIGN a contract, I’m not stupid. RENEWAL option included.
PERFECTO! it JUST so happened I was lucky enough to SELL an APARTMENT and my COMMISSION afforded me the ABILITY to pay the REQUESTED 3 MONTHS. I BOUGHT it–another 3 MONTHS in NYC!
BILL allowed me to move in a week and half before my NOVEMBER 1 move in DATE.
“He LIKES to drink,” was my ONLY real IMPRESSION on him the first 2 WEEKS.
ONE night I walked in LATE and FOUND him sleeping on the COUCH, WITH WATER BOILING ON THE STOVE!
I kicked his LEG, “BILL!” “BILL!” What the FUCK MAN — THIS apartment is OLD with TONS of boxes and BURNABLE items.
HE wouldn’t WAKE. I honestly thought he was DEAD // HE was WASTED — I Kicked his FOOT, he jolted up “What What?”
“You left WATER boiling on the STOVE you idiot!”
“OH, FUCK man…SORRY.”
A few DAYS later I meet his FRIENDS.
Let’s say their names are, GEORGIA and JIM. (Sorry, not INCLUDING PICS of these PEEPS–Use that Imagination)
GEORGIA introduces herself, “HI I’m GEORGIA. I USED to have an ABUSIVE exBOYFRIEND. I jumped OUT of a 10th STORY window to get AWAY from him, NOW I have a METAL leg, HAHA.”
BILL kisses her FOREHEAD — “Mike, Look at HER! Isn’t she beautiful?”
Georgia is probably 4 FT tall, blonde, and looks like she’s LIVED EXCESSIVELY. the BLACKNESS rimming her TEETH demonstrates some REAL drug USAGE in HER past/present. FURTHERMORE, she survived jumping OUT of a 10th STORY window!
Jim, skinny, shaved head, fidgety, probably in his 40′s.
BILL, skinny old school EAST VILLAGE punk ROCKER with DARK hair.
My girlfriend WAS with me, I shoed her INTO my PURPLE sanctuary IMMEDIATELY.
AS my GF and I were HANGIN out WATCHING netflix we start to SMELL something…”It smells like dirty cloths.”
I walk out to the COMMON area–It stinks.
GEORGIA and JIM are nervously fiddling their fingers, some ROCKS were chilling on the TABLE. Bill was OBNOXIOUSLY drunk.
They were all WAYYYYY TUNED in, TOO MUCH for me to START a STINK.
I tell BILL, “We’ll talk TOMORROW,” and GO back into my ROOM.
The next DAY: “So Bill, were GEORGIA and JIM SMOKING crack in OUR bathroom? Cause I’m pretty SURE they both were SMOKING crack in the BATHROOM.”
He denied it at FIRST, Eventually he BLURTS out “THEY Kept going in there BEHIND my back.”
“Okay, well PEOPLE smoking crack in my BATHROOM makes me a LITTLE uncomfortable, sO Please don’t LET it HAPPEN again.”
The next DAY I came home LATE, BILL was passed out on the COUCH a POT of water BOILING on the STOVE.
NOTE, I’ve had to TALK with BILL three times about FALLING asleep with WATER boiling on the STOVE.
ONE night I walked out of MY room around 3AM, the WATER boiling on the stove had been there so LONG that all of the WATER had evaporated out. COMFORTING.
BILL, I discovered, HAS a routine. IT goes as FOLLOWS:
He gets a JOB.
Makes a LITTLE money.
GOES out and buys A sHit ton of BOOZE.
Then he GOES on a 4 DAY drinking BENDER.
Loses HIS job.
RUNs out of MONEY, gets another JOB.
MAKES a little MONEY.
GOES out and buys A sHit ton of BOOZE. 4 day drinking bender, loses job.
REPEAT-> REPEAT-> REPEAT->
I’ve watched this happen THREE times now.
Last WEEK Bill ASKS if I can PAY dec rent. Remember, “If you PAY me 3 months RENT, you can stay here UNTIL February.
Who could forget? Bill did, “Hey Mike, I know I said you were paid UNTIL FEB, but I need you to PAY DEC rent or else I CAN’T make it.”
i’m a NICE guy, but I’m no FOOL. BILL ain’t getting shit from ME. I’ll BE moving out…I RESOLVED the ISSUE by immediately SAYING NO.
TWO days ago, GEORGIA was there again.
OH how I love GEORGIA.
I hide, per USUAL — BILL and GEORGIA’s vibe is TOXIC.
aN HOUR later I go to LEAVE, open my DOOR to the common area // GEORGIA is there, in ALL her GLORY.
THANK GOD only her top WAS removed, yet THERE she WAS.
HER skinny drug ABUSED body.
I look down/away.
“Don’t WORRY honey, I used to be a DOMINATRIX. This is JUST how we roll in NYC.”
I leave, NO THIS IS NOT HOW WE ROLL IN NYC!
Closing my EYES, I walk out…trying not to THROW up in MY mouth.
That EVENING, Bill was ABSOLUTELY trashed–HE repeatedly kept COMING into my ROOM.
“Mike, MIKEY, What are you doing? HAHA, look it’s the CAT!”
“Bill dude, I’m working from home. Can you please LET me WORK?”
“Oh, OH, sorry…Haha, look at the CAT!”
This PERSISTED until I walked OUT and bitched HIM out for being a DISRESPECTFUL human.
PEOPLE ask me, “WHY don’t you just MOVE home for a while? Save money then move back.”
When I have a GOAL, I stick to it. NO MATTER HOW little MONEY I have, no MATTER how FUCKED up my ROOMMATES are, No matter how MUCH I’m in DANGER, NO matter HOW much my HEALTH suffers, I’m staying.
I MADE a goal for MYSELF and I have MOMENTUM.
New York City has brought me a divorce, Homelessness, Crackhead ROOMMATES, Unbelievable HARDSHIPS, and THE most INCREDIBLE year I’ve EVER lived.
Family and friends, I’m okay.
My CURRENT digs are only a LANDING pad.
Day by Day I build my CAREER, I work, and i DREAM // iT will COME.
OPTIMISIM is my CURSE, dreams ARE my DRIVE.
some PEOPLE only TALK about THEIR DREAMS.