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03 July 2016

East Village NYC // BATTLE of the YUPPIE VS. the PUNK ROCKER

July 1, 2016 – begins MY last MONTH with the BLOG PROCLAIMED roommate from HELL.

bill was paid $390 for the month of JUNE, this was BASED off my fair rent TACTIC justified by the legal system of NYC.

He tried to RETALIATE and brought a CRUST PUNK in from THOMPKINS SQ park.

CRUST PUNK (Wiki) — distinctive for their unkempt appearance. They are associated with anti-capitalistm, road protests, squatting, and begging. 

Typical dress styles involve dreadlocks, piercing, tattoos, and dirty clothing which are generally second-hand or army surplus.

CrustPunks

I called the POLICE that DAY, they weren’t ABLE to do anything about it because the APARTMENT is in bill’s NAME. 

I MADE peace with the PUNK and ACTUALLY helped him CARRY his backpack out of MY APARTMENT.  free Booze moves MOUNTAINS. 

AFTER the crust punk DEPARTED, things were quiet in East Village.  bill proceeded with his monthly RITUAL.  Get a JOB for a WEEK, get fired, drinking BENDER for two WEEKS, run out of money, SULK in misery the last WEEK while begging me to PAY him RENT a few DAYS early.

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the LAST week of his june BENDER went TOO far. 

ever FOUND a needle in a PUBLIC bathroom?  If YOU see it, you kinda tip toe AROUND it making sure YOU don’t come WITHIN 100 FEET of it. 

IMAGINE you FOUND one of those LITTLE insulin NEEDLES in your own BATHROOM, and no ONE in the apartment has DIABETES.  see THE BAGGIE to the RIGHT of it?  Yeah, rAWESOMe

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I proclaimed, I AM MOVING OUT AUGUST 1st!

On a SOBER day, bill SAYS to me “I expect you to pay me the same in July as you paid me in JUNE, then we’re done here.”

NO problemo. 

Round one….FIGHT!!! 

I offered my RENT a day EARLY, June 30 $390, here you go. 

bill, “um MIKE, you’re going to have to GIVE me the rest of the RENT.  It’s $975.”

Me, “nope, we made a deal.”

bill, “mike I NEED to pay the electric bill, it’s 5 months past due.”

Me, “yep, I have their phone number and your account number.  If it GETS shut off, I’ll pay to keep it on until August 1.”

bill ERUPTS into yelling and CURSING at me.

I leave. 

-Yuppie 1

-PUNK 0

Round two…FIGHT!!!

July 2, 2016

bill REMINDS me that the ELECTRICITY is getting CUT off if we DON’T pay the ELECTRIC bill.  I repeat the same as the day before.

An hour later, I’m in my bedroom vacuuming.  The power goes off, I hear bill in the OTHER room “see, TOLD you this would HAPPEN.”

I walk out of my room and into the TINY hallway.

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FLIP the breaker that HE turned OFF.

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THE dude turned off the BREAKER to try to scare me into paying him an extra $200 for the ELECTRIC bill. 

Me, “you could just flip the breaker you frickin idiot.”

He laughs, “oh, you’re smart.  I’m a child Mike, it’s all I can say.”

He was squirming like mad, bill was so EMBARRASED he actually left the APARTMENT while I finished vacuuming. 

-Yuppie 2

-Punk 0

Round three…FIGHT!!!

July 3, 2016 (2:48am)

bill came home and turned on his TV and watched it super loud on the couch to TRY to disturb me.

I woke up to use the bathroom and stopped right in front of him so he could watch me put in my EAR plugs, lock my DOOR, and fall gently back into SLUMBER.

Nice try bill. 

-Yuppie 3

-Punk 0

he is LIKE a small child, and he gives up EASILY. 

I don’t expect HIM to try anymore SHIT, but if he DOES I’ll be sure to blog it.  

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