bill is LIKE a CHILD who falls and scrapes his KNEE, then cries and CRIES. When he REALIZES no one is LISTENING he stops. Gets up, walks somewhere to be SEEN, and falls again; CRIES until someone COMES to his AID.
ON monday, I woke UP EARLY to be at A CONCERT in the BRONX. 125th and LEX.
THE night before, ONE of bill’s FRIENDS was hanging out DRINKING 40’s of PABST. bill’s CHOICE drink.
But bill CAN’t handle it, he DRANK all night and MISSED work.
DON’T get me WRONG, I’m down with PBR; I’m from DETROIT, they give can’s of THAT stuff away like FREE samples of TIDE.
7:30am, I’m WALKING out to catch the M14A to UNION SQ, THEN take the 4 or 5 UPTOWN.
bill, “MIKE, MIKE!”
“WHAT do you NEED man?” He’s STILL drunk.
“DO, americans LIKE the GERMAN’s?”
“YOU’RE an IDOT man.”
MON night, I come home. NO bill. TUE, I come home. NO bill, WED NO bill, THUR, NO bill, FRI, NO bill.
I TEXTED him WED and THUR and FINALLY called him on FRIDAY night.
11:30PM, FRI // I call // HE answers, “Hey MIKE, I’m sorry I never CALLED you. I LOST your NUMBER. I BROKE my FOOT, I fell in a POTHOLE. I was in the HOSPITAL”
HE fell in a POTHOLE [drunk] and BROKE his FOOT!
RECENTLY, bill has been trying to RENT his bedroom USING craigslist. HIS plan is to SLEEP on the couch WHILE someone PAYS $900 to RENT his room UNTIL i MOVE OUT in FEB.
CURRENTLY, I’m overhearing him INTERVIEWING a PROSPECTIVE roommate, to QUOTE her, “I LOVE IT!”
WHICH part? THE stack of RECORDS that haven’t been TOUCHED in 20 YEARS? EVERY playboy from 1998-2003? the WALL of VHS? or the un-USABLE kitchen — there’s a humongous piece of LUGGAGE blocking the STOVE and SINK. [hoarder]
I’m inclined to TELL her not to LIVE here, AND I strategically SLIPPED her a business CARD.
It’s a DRAG that I have to FORFEIT my SECOND east VILLAGE apartment only 3 MONTHS into FINDING it.
BUT i’ve had ENOUGH.
bill actually asked IF I’D be willing to move OUT mid JANUARY since HE allowed me to move in TWO weeks early back in OCTOBER.
to QUOTE him, “you HELPED me out, you can MOVE in whenever you WANT.” now HE wants me to PAY him for the EARLY move in. I wrote a CONTRACT with him, so HE has nothing on ME.
AND I have ABSOLUTELY no interest in GIVING bill ANOTHER dime.
I’m STAYING until FEB.
ANYONE need a ROOMMATE?