What's Going On

04 January 2016

:323 AM saturday JANUARY second

:323 AM

I’m WOKE by the sound of A strAnge mAn’s VOICE.

[SOMEWHERE along the LINES of]

“Yeah, with my JOB I never KNOW what HOURS of the NIGHT I’ll be COMING in”

bill, my BELOVED roommate, BROKE his foot TWO weeks ago and CAN’T work UNTIL February 16. he BROKE it stumbling around East Village in a DRUNK haze he “can’t REMEMBER.”

since I REFUSE to PAY him another DIME, bill decided he would RENT his ROOM and live on the COUCH until I MOVE out. WITHOUT paying me a PENNY.

okay [FINE]
bill, AS anyone who has READ my BLOG knows, is a DREAMBOAT.

HIS frantic SEARCH has been on SINCE he broke his FOOT.

He’s also MONTHS behind on RENT.

A normal ROOMMATE exchange would HAVE gone like THIS:

“MIKE, I found SOMEONE to RENT the room. HE’s paying me TOMORROW and I wanted to KNOW if you’d like to MEET him before I TAKE the MONEY.”

sounds FAIR right? I only PAID him ALMOST 3K when I moved in and I am PAID on my room until FEBRUARY 1.

[not bill]

bill DOESN’T function on the SAME frequency as ANYONE with ANY common sense. and, FRANKLY, he’s a SELFISH fucking ASSHOLE.

:323 AM

I’m WOKE by the sound of A strAnge mAn’s VOICE.

my NEW third ROOMMATE. I’ve NEVER met this MAN in my LIFE and my APARTMENT is less than 800sqft.

[for the TIME being, let’s call THIS character ‘TOM ACE’]

after I REALIZE I’m not DREAMING I get up to see WHAT’S going on in MY living ROOM.

TOM has ALREADY went to BED.

bill is HOBBLING around with his CRUTCHES and BROKE ass FOOT.

“WHAT the FUCK is GOING on MAN? It’s four in the DAMN morning.”

“OH, the new ROOMMATE is moving in.”

“ARE you SERIOUS MAN? you DON’T even HAVE the common decency to INTRODUCE me to SOMEONE that’s going to BE living in my SPACE for the NEXT month? I paid you RENT you PRICK.”

“MIKE, you KNEW this was HAPPENING.”

“YEAH, but I would HAVE thought you WOULD have at LEAST fucking INTRODUCED me you ASS HOLE. YOU are SUCH a UNTHOUGHTFUL ass HOLE loser.”

“but HE paid ME!”

“IS that all YOU care ABOUT!” ETC


“I’m GETTING a NEW key LOCK for my DOOR too, loser.”

// i get testy under stress //

the NEXT day, as I WRITE this, I overhear TOM ACE come out of HIS room. bill’s bundled on the COUCH, his STUPID broke ASS foot hanging off the EDGE.


“bill, you can GO back in your ROOM and lay down. I won’t be BACK until TUESDAY, my GRADMA died and I’m GOING to the FUNERAL.”

I haven’t seen or HEARD bill shower SINCE the accident [DECEMBER 18] and a MAN just offered to LET him sleep in HIS sheets // WHICH have NOT been CHANGED.

JANUARY second I LEARNED I have a NEW roommate that I’ve NEVER met.

thankfully JANUARY FIRST was a FANTASTIC start to my NEW YEAR.

I was OFFERED a residency TWO nights a WEEK at HAVEN rooftop on 47th.


I ALSO am on a TEMP list for SUBSTITUTE teaching at PRIVATE schools in the CITY. I’m finally GETTING closer to MONOTIZING and being ABLE to live like a NORMAL human again.

FOR the month of JANUARY, I’ll be looking HARD for my replacement DIGS.

the BASICS [furnished ROOM, clean, a KITCHEN I can WALK in, maybe a LIVING room I can SHARE]

AS I’ve SAID in PREVIOUS blogs, you GET WHAT YOU PAY for.

I’d LIKE to find another $900 a MONTH spot, but am going to EXTEND it to $1,200.

I must be OPTIMISTIC and KNOW that I am going TO work this OUT.

WE can only PRAY that TOM ACE is nothing like bill.

TOM already has 3 STRIKES against him.

1.)  HE AGREED to live in this SHIT HOLE on some broke ASS HOLES bed WHILE said BROKE ASS HOLE lives on the COUCH.

2.)  HE MOVED in at :323 AM on a SATURDAY

3.)  HE seems to have no ISSUE that the ONLY person in this APARTMENT not PAYING rent is bill.






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